“Thaum yus txoj hmoo zoo los ze ze lawm mas zoo li yus lub siab nrhia nrhia…tsis paub tias nrhia rau qhov zoo los yog qhov phem vim ntshai tsam hom tsis mus raws li yus txoj kev xav.”
Have there been time where good fortune was getting closer and closer to you, your heart starts to beat…not knowing if this heart beat is beating for the goodness to come or the pain to come, with the thought of fear that things might not go as you think it should be?
That’s what I am feeling tonight. At this very moment; playing this questioning in my head over and over again. Making me wonder with confusion and at the same time happiness. I feel like LIFE is actually moving forward in my favorite. Everything seem to move into place this year without much worry or delay in the choices I decided to make. However, there is a bit precautions in the back of my mind. Is that normal? lolz
At time, I know that I over think and over analyze everything which is why fears would come into mind and then created confusion. I have been told by people not to think too much but I can’t help it. How do you trains your mind to rest? lolz It doesn’t seem to work for me at all.
One contribution related to this random thought is probably due to my current situation. I guess when you have something good or someone good in your life, you wouldn’t want to lose it or let it go easily. We always said, we will love with all our might; we will do everything in our power for the other person or to keep that good thing/person in our life whether they decided to stay with us or not. With that, when we have give all we have and can, and they still decided to leave us then there will be no regret. Right? Isn’t that always the saying? Or probably the saying my two sisters and I always used? lolz
As of tonight, I have came to a conclusive that regardless how much I will do in my power and if the other person/things gets slip away, I know I will regret it. WHY? Because a piece of my happiness will be taking away from me, from my joy, and from my life forever. So why would I not regret? Most definitely I would. *Sigh*
Pray for me and hope that this is my chance at love, at happiness, at life because I deserved to be given just that “ONE CHANCE”, is all I need. That once chance is all I need. ALL I NEED!