“I start to realize that this man has built himself a life. He has hobbies, real hobbies like cross-country skiing, hiking, reading, video games and more. He’s not afraid to do things by himself either. He has an important job and works hard at it. He’s busy. That’s why he’s not clinging to me. He has things to occupy his mind and time and has had them for years. I’m welcome to join him in these activities too, I notice. But I will never be the center of his universe. I quietly delete my online dating profile so I can’t spy on him anymore.
This guy never asks me to change my plans to do something with him instead. He actually changes his plans on occasion and joins me on my plans instead. I’m finally getting comfortable with myself and doing things on my own. I go on hikes with a local club; I meet up with girlfriends; I go to my exercise classes; I work late when I need to; I get a “Little Sister;” I invite neighbors over for drinks; I make moves to start a friendship with a woman I’ve known a couple of years and who I think is cool; I start thinking a lot about what I want out of life and my future. Not my future with a man but MY future. I’m building a life for myself for the first time in 44 years.
I start to appreciate this man. He makes time for me. He wants to do things with me, but he can also do things on his own. I learn to be happy that I won’t be the center of his universe. I want to be the center of my own universe. I can be a part of his universe, but I don’t need to be the center. I don’t want to be his center. He has his own life, he doesn’t need to suck mine out of me. I start to trust him. He’s for real. He really has all these things going on in his life and it’s so cool. I can have my own life too. I can also be a part of his life without losing myself.
I feel grateful to have met this person. I hope I’ve learned a lifelong lesson here. I’m enjoying my time with him, but should it come to an end, I hope I can transfer this way to being with a man to the next relationship. This way needs to become a part of me and who I am, just the way it’s a part of him and who he is. I plan to leave that clingy, needy woman behind. I am building my own life here and becoming the center of my own universe. It sounds so selfish, but it’s really a very giving way to live your life. Giving yourself the right to treat yourself with importance gives you the strength and time to do the right thing and give back to others. Otherwise, you are giving yourself to one man. Be the center of your universe.”
The Simply Solo Spotlight is written by Jamie is truly inspiring me. The caption above is just a part of her completed article I took from “Simply Solo” wordpress blog. Later I will link to the actual article blog if you are interested in reading more. Also please subscribe to Simply Solo, she has great blog cater to anyone and everyone.
When I read this article blog and leading to the end portion, my mind was like she is A B S O L U T E L Y RIGHT!
My mind has always been build with the notion that if a man love me truly, I will be at the center of his universe. And if whoever doesn’t, he is just not that into me. Jamie make it clear and understandable. She re-enforce the term I always used “self-care”…it’s that much important when we take care of ourselves no matter which area it may need improvement in. Her words really makes me rethink my theory model of “center of universe” and because of her, I will slowly change certain aspect belief I have that revolved the term “center of universe”. As she mention in her article blog, it’s ok if someone doesn’t make you the center of their universe but what you needs is “building [your] own life here and becoming the center of [your] own universe.” VERY INSPIRING INDEED!
I feel so inspired that I am in the determine mode to get myself together, make myself a first priority on my list (even if that mean I have to be a little selfish to get to my goals), feel wonderful in my skin, and walks with pride. I know that I wants to be a woman of qualities and I am a woman of qualities. Whether others see those qualities in me or not, it’s how I define myself-worth and the values I put into me that shine through my character as a whole. I feel amazing and loving the new me. I am determine for a good change, for a good heather living life style and most importantly, to achieved all my dreams and goals I have always set forth for me.
When action is taking, anything is possible and there is no limitation to the outcome.