I have been reading “Hmong”, “IAmHmongBeauty” and “Hmong Advice & Stories” status stories/questions for the past few weeks in facebook. The stories/questions post on there, it’s full of everything on a scale; from a bad marriage to complains regards to in-laws, or being a daughters/daughter-in-law, affair/cheating on the husband, to as dumb as a bad decision and no logic sense at all. The authors of those stories really makes me question their up bringing and themselves. Some of the situations they put themselves through, they could had make better decision. They fail to acknowledge the red flag and continues to pursue the guy; the guy is bad for them and their healthy anyway.
What bother me the most regards to those stories is Marriage!!!
I was taught to be marry to one man and to last for my whole life time. TIME has change since my parents’ and grandparents’ generation. With the society we lived in, there are so many options being offer and influenced by. I can see why marriage failed. Furthermore, I think people give up too easy without given the problem a second thought.
When I heard about people’s marriage problem, I have the urge of wanting to help them; advices them to seek for logic sense and work their marriage before taking any irrelevant action. I wants to make both parties understand why they got married in the first place; their burning passion of love. When others told them not to courtship, stop them from getting married and no matter what, both parties proceed and got married anyway. They don’t see the hardship of the elders going through with the marriage, the bride’s price— all these things makes me want to throw it back at their face and make them realize that marriage is a BIG MILESTONE in a person’s life. Before they do something so stupid such as divorce one another, they needs to rationalize what went wrong in their marriage; understand themselves what isn’t fulfill or unsatisfied at their end and their spouse end; what can they do to change themselves to better their situation and what are the things they willing to negotiate to improve their marriage. Sigh*
How come people don’t think of the process that lead to marriage??? It’s a lots of work!!! Not only that, but they are putting their children in a unhealthy stage. I feel like those kids are cheated out of a good future; of what could have been. Sigh*
The marriage stories is very discouraging to those of us who are single and still have the hope to find love because, EVERY STORY end up about bad marriage. What happen to those good marriage that is unheard about??? I have observed parents, siblings, cousins and friend’s marriage and for the rate they are going at treating one another, I don’t think I have much hopes for a good happy marriage. It sadden my heart that when people married, they forget the reason why they were married to one another at the first place. I guess it due to other variable that been throw into a marriage.
Am I the only one who is having discouraging emotion towards marriage?