Tu Siab Thiab Chim Siab

“Tu siab heev li os….tias lub ntiaj teb no tsis muaj txoj kev ncaj ncees. Cov neeg zoo thiab cov neeg yus hlub tshaj plaws li tseem ncaim ntawm yus lub xuj ntiag thiab lub neej txoj siab mus lawm tsis rov los. Ua cas es cov neeg zoo ho yog cov tsis muaj txoj hmoo zoo…ho cov neeg phem ho muaj txoj sia ntev? Tu siab thiab chim siab heev li os kuv na. Hais npaum li cas los tsis zoo kuv lub siab rau txoj kev no li. *Sniff sniff* …”

Today I was able to attend Mrs. Sophie Herr (Nam Dr. Benjamin Nyaaj Bee Herr) memorial services in Sacramento during the evening after a long and busy day at work. I was delivering some flowers and fruits (Fruits from Miss Asia Sacramento’s Director and MAS family) to her, her daughter and the Herr family to show some respect and support for the family.

I took one of the service program brochure home. In it, it has Mrs. Sophie Herr’s biography in there and I’m amazed at the wonderful work she has done and left her legacy on earth for others to cherish; especially those whom she has touch their hearts or has come encounter with her. She pass away due to Colon cancer in Feb. 2, 2013 when the cancer had gotten worse for her.

The decor of the room at the memorial service was just beautiful. The room was cover with drapes of white, gray and lavender color; all around the room and behind the coffin.  The benches and chairs were cover in white cloth and has lavender slip cloth tied mid-waste around the chair into a bow. Along side the aisle were white poles stand and bouquets of white flowers sat on top of each white pole. White funeral flowers along with some mixture of red or pink flowers were sat in the front, along side, next to each other with the coffin. The formal look of the memorial services decor does not remind me of a funeral services which I was attending, if there were no funeral flowers in the front. It’s that beautiful! Mrs. Sophie Herr was dressed in a white dress, with white grove on, lying in the coffin. She was a little blue but looks just like she was sleeping only. The Herr family is a Christian family and I had not attend a Christian memorial services before. The service was quite, fill with lots of people and soft music playing in the background while everyone line up to see Mrs. Sophie Herr. This is something new and interesting to witness. Furthermore  it was an opportunity to pay my respect to Mrs. Sophie Herr for the short amount of time I had come encounter with her and her daughter.


During the memorial service, my thought flash back to almost 6 years ago when my beloved mother pass away due to cancer as well; pancreatic cancer. My family was going through the same hurts, pain and struggle of a loss. I cannot imagine what the Herr family are going through at the moment. Because to me, it was sooo surreal. Altho I had cry my heart out, on the back of my mind, I failed to accepted or was in denial that my mother was really gone. It’s one of the most difficult stage or struggle in my life by far.

For a person like my mother and Mrs. Sophie Herr, why do their life has to be so short? They are great people who only put forth the goodness towards others. Thing like this makes me question life and it’s unfairness. Life has taken someone so precious from me as well as from the Herr’s family/kids which neither one of us will be able to get the life experience we should have experience. I feel so cheated out of life. Every happy event or accomplishment I had or will achieves, my mother is missing this wonderfulness out of my life or being a part of it — due to unfairness in humility or something each of us cannot escape from. Only the lord can answer to this…

Very sad in deed!!!

However, with my mother’s love and her wisdom she has taught me — she would wants me to continues to do what is best for me, no excuse. Her love and goodness live through me into the world. Every soul I encountered and touch is where I share her love. Her legacy lives on.


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