Tugging

Life is full of lessons to learn!!!

Learning about oneself is endlessly. You can said, I have discover something about myself and my level of tolerance on certain things. Recently, there is this feeling inside of me —wanting to find inner peace in me and for myself; be free, be a free spirit. Recently, I draw back and take the back seat to observe and listen. I don’t act like my normal self; I contract.  I don’t know if this is a sign of laziness, a sign of careless or a sign of being at peace; and just want to let the course of the universe determine my destiny for me. I wants to close my eyes and be free; clear my mind, clear my soul of the stress that come with life. At the same time, it’s like this tugging feeling deep inside is merging out from within; like this tugging feeling is trying to escape. However, I have no idea what the tugging feeling is.

As this tug of emotion inside of me is telling me something, there are so many things that run through my mind. The thought of how I want my life to be, the thought of how I want others to know me and remember me, the thought of wanting to reach out to make a impact on others. All these thoughts run constantly and I am trying to figure out what steps I needs to take to make my life a memorable one for me to reflect back on during my old age. Sometime, I will tell myself that I needs to worry about myself first and everything will fall into place. With reassuring myself, the mind still does not stop it’s track.

The thought of wanting to impact others bring me back to my tugging emotion from within. I thought of how I am going to impact the world? And the answer come rushing to me that the impact I needs to make starts at home — with those who are close to me; my family; my parents, my siblings (brothers & sisters), relatives and friends. To be spiritually at peace with myself, I must be able to be at peace with those who are close to me. They are the people I needs to make an impact on. I must start with me before I can reach out to help others.

With that said, I am on this new journey to find inner peace for me! I am going to discover what this tugging emotion is and help it to come alive; to achieve what my purpose in life is. The future is unknown. All I ask is for the higher being to give me strength and courage to overcome whatever it is so I can fulfill my life purpose.

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