Lately, I have been drained with emotions and depression. Thinking and wanting to find the root causes of it and it came down to emotions that was not resolve from the past; whether relationship, friendship, life or school. Each contributed a combination of stress into my depression. The one that is wearing me out most was my past relationship. I guess, like they said, it takes time to heal.
What I have learned from this relationship is, no one is prefect nor do they have the right skills to deal with issues. I have to be patience and let go of my ego and pride. When I really love someone, I must learn to balance my needs and wants or how it will make me feel. I also needs to have the other person in mind, be more considerate and it will lead to make my heart happier when I know the other person is happy. I needs to lower my expectation and work with the other person on what they bring to the table rather then hold them to something my heart desire extremely; without make it flexible for the other person to improve and reach for. Learned to appreciate the greatness he is and work on the things he can improve in. What I desire most might not be what I want. Last but not least, learn to forgive and forget. I will only be at peace and move forward when I know that I have learn from the past on what I did wrong and let it go to allow new door of opportunity to come my way. I feel that when I really love the other person as much as I claim to love him, I should be able to control my emotion and forgive them time over time.
I cannot blame others for my action and behavior. I am holding myself accountable and taking responsibility for what I have said and done. I cannot change the past but I am improving myself for the future. I cannot expect any one to forgive and forget for the harsh words I have said but it will give me a peace of mind to know that I was forgiven. Others might had done me more wrong then I done them. However, by accepting my mistake and taking responsibility for my own doing, I am moving forward with the hopes that they do come to a realization of what they did too.