She looked just like herself; just the way I remember her, her voice, her loud voice, her body figure, her curly black hairs, her sense of motherly concern, her face…etc. As I notice and observed my brother talk to her, I can hear her voice of concern echo on the most important day of my life. I can sense her present there and literally see her there. As one of my cousin patted my hairs and mentioned how important it is of the day, and how she was no where to be found to ask for her blessing. As I watched all the women (young and old) surround me drop tears in their eyes, I consciously thinking to myself and said “but she is here.” However no one seem to see her and woke up with tears in my eyes.
On every woman’s wedding day, their mother play a significant role. A mother is there to dress her daughter up in Hmong clothes, advise her to be a good daughter in law and a good wife, bless her and send her off to live with her husband.
Sometime, I feel cheated that I will never have my mom there to do that for me. I wonder if it’s her way of letting me know; that she is and will be there.