More Trees & Less Grasses

I have been having so many life struggles and challenges lately; whether it’s life itself, school, work, family or love life. The message below share by Tyler Perry really speak to me because I am on this constant self-improve changing journey to find inner peace.

I have been trying to improve this mind set of mine for a while; think that everyone is similar to me or like me and able to raise to my level of understanding and doing. At the end of the day, I gets disappointed because I expect more out of them which they do not have the abilities or capability to do so. Sigh* Definitely needs to work on this more.

The message below served as a reminder that some people doesn’t function the way we wants them to but to simply appreciated what they are and what they can do for us. If we needs those who can do what we can then we needs to be wise in our choices of decisions; whether it’s life itself, education goals, friends, family and relationship.

I was talking to a friend of mine the other day, and she was explaining to me how disappointed she was in people and the things that they do and have done to her. She went on and on about how upset and heartbroken she was, and has been, about some of her family and friends. She talked about how they hurt her and how she wished they would change and be better people. She wanted them to be different than the people they were.

Halfway through this complaint-a-thon, I asked her to take a walk with me in the backyard. Now, you have to know this particular friend of mine. She hates the heat, and it was a hot day. I said, “come on” so she reluctantly came with me.

We got outside and it was steaming hot. I could see that she was uncomfortable. Nevertheless, we kept walking around my backyard. As she was still complaining about people, I asked her what she thought of my grass. Mind you, in order to appreciate the grass you had to stand in the direct sunlight. She said “Wow, I love your grass. It’s beautiful, but it’s hot right here. Let’s cool off under that oak tree over there.”

So, as she started to walk to the tree I said, “No no, let’s stay here in the grass and cool off.”

She turned to me quickly and said, “We can’t cool off on this grass.”

Right then, I said to her, “But you just said the grass was beautiful.”

“I did” she replied. Then, I asked her, “Why won’t you stay here?” She said, because she was hot and the grass couldn’t cool her off. So, we walked over to the oak tree and sat there.

She said, “Now you see? This is what I needed.”

Then I asked her this question. “The grass was beautiful. You loved it. Why didn’t you get mad with the grass because it couldn’t provide the shade you wanted?

She was confused, so I went on to explain myself. “People in this world, whether they were created a certain way or became that way through life’s circumstances, are who they are. Stop wishing they will be someone else.”

I said, “The next time you get upset with someone because they can’t do, or can’t be what you want them to be, remember the grass. Never get mad at a blade of grass because it’s not a tree. Appreciate the grass for what it is. Let it provide to you what it can, but don’t expect more. Your life will get so much easier when you start letting people be who they are and stop expecting them to give you what they don’t have or don’t know how to give. Just like that grass couldn’t provide shade because it wasn’t made to, some people are not made to give you what you’re asking for. So, stop looking for it. You will be shocked at how much peace you find when you really get this.”

And the last thing I said to her was this. “You wouldn’t be so frustrated with people who are like the grass if you had more people who are like trees in your life.”

Source: Tyler Perry (facebook page)

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4 thoughts on “More Trees & Less Grasses

  1. Exactly! Just take the world and your surrounding for what it is and focus on yourself, your life, and your goals/dreams. People will be whoever they want to be, and if you try to change them, they’ll find you as a source of pain and discomfort. Then they will only be distancing you and themselves further and further. Like the story mentioned, just find more trees instead of always being in the grass. Perhaps you can share some of the struggles/challenges you go through like families, friends, school, work, love life, and/or a combination of anything on your next post.

    Perhaps you can share some of the struggles in your education? If you do make your next post about your struggles in education, you can be sure that I’ll share my struggles in education as well. Then once you have shared your struggles in education, you can make a new post about your struggles in your love life. That will be fun! Hahahaha! Opps! Excuse me, I’m writing too much. Anyways, I look forward to your next post.

    – Ker Thoj
    – May 28, 2015

    • Yeah, sometime we don’t think things through and we are expecting a bit too much from people who are not capable of doing what we expect out of them.

      Talking about change? To others, it may seem like we wants to change the person but some of us might just wants to help improve them; to become better only. I recently encountered this problem with someone. The other person see my help as an insult and thinking that I wants to change them which lead to many complication along the way. I think this is one of the area the individual will have to decided for themselves. I feel that people don’t appreciated your input if you give freely to them; wait til they come and ask for your thoughts/opinions then give it to them.

      Great idea! Definitely will share more blog post soon. This is my place of getaway from reality to vent and to just simply put thoughts down to release stress, share my happiness…etc…

      Do you have a blog? Maybe I can follow you and read more on your thoughts and perspective in life?

      • You have good intentions because you want to help others. However, others do not see your intentions as “help” but “insults.” And I totally agree with you that people don’t appreciate your input if you give it freely to them. Heck, even if they ask for advices and inputs, they do the complete opposite. Oh! That reminds me of a word I recently learned. LOL! Here it is:

        Askhole: A person who asks for advices and inputs but yet does the complete opposite of what the advices and inputs are.

        Yep, most people are askholes. Hahahaaaaha! I’m sorry. I got off topic. Anyways……. back to the topic. I’m glad this is your place of a getaway from reality to recover and and get everything in order.

        No, I do not have a blog. I simply just wander on the Internet and look for Hmong related topics. It just so happens that I have stumbled onto your blog and started reading some of the posts you make. If you want me to share something about myself – photos, age, bio, education, life, and whatever – just ask. Please feel free to do so. ^_^

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