I have been having so many life struggles and challenges lately; whether it’s life itself, school, work, family or love life. The message below share by Tyler Perry really speak to me because I am on this constant self-improve changing journey to find inner peace.
I have been trying to improve this mind set of mine for a while; think that everyone is similar to me or like me and able to raise to my level of understanding and doing. At the end of the day, I gets disappointed because I expect more out of them which they do not have the abilities or capability to do so. Sigh* Definitely needs to work on this more.
The message below served as a reminder that some people doesn’t function the way we wants them to but to simply appreciated what they are and what they can do for us. If we needs those who can do what we can then we needs to be wise in our choices of decisions; whether it’s life itself, education goals, friends, family and relationship.
I was talking to a friend of mine the other day, and she was explaining to me how disappointed she was in people and the things that they do and have done to her. She went on and on about how upset and heartbroken she was, and has been, about some of her family and friends. She talked about how they hurt her and how she wished they would change and be better people. She wanted them to be different than the people they were.
Halfway through this complaint-a-thon, I asked her to take a walk with me in the backyard. Now, you have to know this particular friend of mine. She hates the heat, and it was a hot day. I said, “come on” so she reluctantly came with me.
We got outside and it was steaming hot. I could see that she was uncomfortable. Nevertheless, we kept walking around my backyard. As she was still complaining about people, I asked her what she thought of my grass. Mind you, in order to appreciate the grass you had to stand in the direct sunlight. She said “Wow, I love your grass. It’s beautiful, but it’s hot right here. Let’s cool off under that oak tree over there.”
So, as she started to walk to the tree I said, “No no, let’s stay here in the grass and cool off.”
She turned to me quickly and said, “We can’t cool off on this grass.”
Foods for the Soul:
When you say “I love you” it means “I can offer you true peace and happiness”. In order to be able to offer them, you must already be able to offer them to yourself.
Source: Thich Nhat Hanh
At the end of each year, I think of all the things that has happen during that year; the good, the bad and the ugly. And as I gather my thoughts for the coming new year, I reflect on what I have done and the things that I needs to improve on. Many good blessing has came into my life as well as many life lessons to learned. I always aim for the best but still had to accept the unforeseen that came my way. The unforeseen is what develop my character and growth. Without them, I will not be able to make small change every year to become a better person, a better woman, a better daughter, a better sister, a better friend, and one day a better girlfriend, a better wife and mother.
I am bless and thankful for every opportunities, every friendship and the continues support and love of my family (especially my siblings). I have to said, this year has been a roller coaster of physically, mentally and emotionally ride but at the same time, it has been quite the adventures.
With 2015 around the corner, please:
“Make me strong in spirit,
Courageous in action,
Gentle of heart,
Let me act in wisdom,
Conquer my fear and doubt,
Discover my own hidden gifts,
Meet others with compassion,
Be a source of healing energies,
And face each day with hope and joy.”
Please give me the strength to be all that I can be.
So many goals to achieve, so many places to see and so many things to learn. I am excited for all the blessings that is yet to come!
My highlights of 2014:
- New job (a step closer to where I wants to be)
- Lebanon foods (experience with nws at a local restaurant in Sacramento; kinda small but good experience, great foods)
- Magic Marketing Workshop
- Hmong Women Today Retreat at Harmony Ridge Lodge, Nevada City
- Hmoob Thoj rooj mov khi tes
- Fundraiser Event for ‘The Hmongstory 40 Exhibit’
- Travel to San Diego (first time being there, and love it)
- Amador Cellar; Behind the cellar door fest (Wine tasting pass in Amador county; tasty goods and great wine with my two little ladies; gotta do it again but next time go earlier because too many wineries to visit)
- Pro Bono – Hmong Seniors Class at Hmong Women Heritage Association (teach edible fruits carving & arrangement; basic).
- Sacramento Zoo (spend with two cute kiddos, their first time at a zoo)
- Morocc foods (experience w/ BBF at a local restaurant; great experience and foods; definitely worth the experience; dancers entertainment is included if dine on Friday and Saturday)
- Santa Cruz Boardwalk (visiting my brother w/ cousins and bring back memories of nws thiab kuv)
- Save Mart GRAPE ESCAPE (great wine and foods; definitely worth the $$$; will do it again in 2015)
- Yosemite National Park (First time there and love it)
- Miss Hmong South CA Banquet
- Lake Berryessa getaway
- New Hmong name (my dad gave me a new Hmong name on my BDAY; his new trend for his kids)
- Salinas, Monterey and Carmel getaway
- Pro Bono (edible fruits arrangement set up for Steve Ly’s Luau Party for Elk Grove City Council election)
- Spartan Race (Super)
- Halloween (my half-siblings first Halloween trick-or-treat)
- 2004 Honda Civic LX (bye to my old car of 11 yrs)
- 2014 Honda Accord Coupe L-S (brought a new car; another bill adding to my list of expense)
- Limousine & Wine Tasting (great experience, gotta do it again)
- Volunteer (Assist coordinated SHNY pageant)
- School (2 more classes to go until graduation…yayyy!)
I’m blessed for everything that come into my life and those on it’s way; the goods and the bads. 2014 been a journey of challenge; mentally, emotionally, and physically! I’m thankful for the experiences and I’m excited for 2015! What’s up next?
Photo copyright by hmongchic.wordpress.com
In your garden of friendship, do you have someone who knows you so well that the bond you have with her/him is inseparable?
I have one! She is the most beautiful flower in my garden of friendship. I have known her for 7 years this past May. I never really talk about her because in a sense, I feel she doesn’t deserve that place. However, as I am thinking back and reflecting back to the 7 years I have came to known her, I know that she has earn and deserved that place in my garden of friendship.
She is the kind of friend anyone will wants to have. No words can describe and express her love and friendship to me. To put in a few short words, she is full of love and she embrace her love without expecting anything in return. She will comfort you doing your down moments and cheer you up with hopes. She is like a sister from another mother.
All my life, I have had many friends but no one has ever come close to the kind of friendship and have the love she has for me. During the past 7 years, we have disappointment, fought one another, upset and being harsh with love to one another but somehow, we will come together at the end of that tough journey to forgive one another.
At time, in the past, I feel that she doesn’t deserve the title “best friend” because I feel like she doesn’t have my best interested. However, I fail to see the love behind her behavior and action. Even tho she doesn’t behavior or act in the way I want her to act, it doesn’t mean she doesn’t act with love towards me. We have sooo many bad moments that torn us apart and we said hurtful things to one another. Thinking back to those moments, I am blessed that those bad moments makes us stronger as friends. It show me how wonderful she is as a person and how bless I am to have her.
POSITIVE SELF IMAGE!
Amazing parenting skill; building confidence starts at home.
“It doesn’t matter what they think of me. I know what I think of myself.
I am great. I am amazing. I am significant. I am smart. I am beautiful. I am special.
I can stand up with all the confidence in the world. I can look any man and woman in the face and said, I am ___ (insert your name here).
I am great. I am smart. No one can stop me but me. No one can stop me but me. The only person that can ever stand in my way is me. Me standing in my way is not an option.
I’m great! I’m amazing. I am smart. I am great. I am special.
No one in the world can stop my greatness. No one in the world can shake my confidence. It doesn’t matter what you said about me. It’s about the way I feel about myself. I love me. So it doesn’t matter if you don’t love me. I love me. Because I am great. I am ___ (insert your name here) .” ~ Tyrese Gibson
To see the video, click here.
This is my affirmation of the day. Recently I have been rough on myself or rough on the relationships I have with others. I know that it feel great to be in control but sometime when we try to control too much of the relationship, we fail to acknowledge the other person in the relationship; whether the relationship is with a love one, your parents, siblings or friends.
For me, I think I have a fear of being imperfect. I strive so hard and challenge myself daily to be the best I can be. I feel that I have no excuse to be the best I can be. I have high expectation for myself and those around me. I know that I am not near prefect but it doesn’t hard to try. Then problem occurred for misunderstanding when others failed to live up to my expectation because excuse were not acceptable.
I also failed to acknowledge that each person function differently. My expectation is different from others and so are theirs from mine. I constantly remind myself of this but sometime, when your emotion kick in then nothing make sense and no logic at all will help under emotionally stress.
It is a challenge to understand peoples’ difference at time. When one person is in their defense mode, no matter how you willing to communicate to them, there is no chance of getting through to them at all.
As the quoted stated above, I needs to stop trying to control relationships and just learn to let it go, let it be… entrusted that everything will work out on it’s own and just fulfill my part.