That Moment …

lessons-in-lifeThat moment when you look at old photos of you and your ex and … instead of you feeling hurts and lots of pain, it makes you smiles.

That moment when you realize that you no longer hurts by watever happen in the past.

That moment, you dwell in the past for the good of memories and just cherish it rather then let the pain come back and hurts you all over again.

That moment when you recently see him at the gym and you wish him well and that he is doing well.

That moment when you see him again and he is like a complete stranger all over again.

That moment when you wants nothing for him but the best only.

That moment when you are thankful for the experience you have with him and because of whatever happen, it taught you to know yourself better and become the person you are today.

That moment when you know that your heart and you have move on.

Mesmerize About The Past

2013 - lunchWe were told not to dwell in the past but sometime you cannot help yourself.

Lately I have been dwell in the past, my past. Since facebook has the feature of “Memories look back on today” from years ago. I was able to see what I did a few years ago.

“OH those happy moments!!!”

They seem so real but at the same time, just a memories. Where has it gone? And what happen?

Today about 2 yrs ago, as stated in my status post, “the handsome one and I went to lunch before we head out to wine tasting in Old Sugar Mill in Clarksburg.”

It is bittersweet memory that I will forever cherish. I don’t know how he and I came to be the way we are. It’s been 9 months since we went our own way. I believed he has move on himself as I am allowing myself to move on too. Like they said “TIME” will heal the wound and give time, someone will come along and put all the broken piece together.

I am thankful for the experiences; to love, the memories, the many places we had travel and visit, and the lessons we have share with one another. I think that without it, I will not become the person I am.

2013 - wineAs I mesmerize about my past, a part of me is sadden that two wonderful and amazing persons cannot work out their differences. And a part of me wish him well and that he will be love in the way that I was not able to do so to fulfil his happiness.

Like the saying goes… “If we are meant to be, faith will lead us back to be in each other’s arm again” in the future.

What Men Want: 7 Traits

I love reading article at Elite Daily. And this is one of the many good article I read. Just reblogging as a reminder to myself…something to keep in mind when putting myself out there for a potential guy. 🙂

For years, we’ve talked about finding the right woman — someone we can rides the waves of life with, who will stand by our side for better or for worse.

As a man, committing to The One is among the most important decisions we make in life; some may even argue it is the most important.

The woman we decide to share our world with is the one who will mother our children, help us plan life, pick us up when we’re down and make us better men than we are right now.

But, what does the right woman look like in our eyes?

For years, women have been sharing what they want in men, but there’s this widely-held stereotype that all we want is the so-called “trophy wife.” I don’t agree with that notion.

You see, there’s so much that should go into deciding whom to share your life with — characteristics, in a sense, that stand the test of time.

So, what is it we men want in a woman?

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Untold Stories of Hmoob Survivors

Domestic violence is defined as a “pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner.  Domestic violence can be physical, sexual, emotional, economic, or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. This includes any behaviors that intimidate, manipulate, humiliate, isolate, frighten, terrorize, coerce, threaten, blame, hurt, injure, or wound someone” (US Department of Justice).

Untold Stories of Hmoob Survivors is a video created by ” Building Our Future: Community Campaign.” Their description is as follow:

Building Our Future is a global community campaign driven by a caring network of change agents who are uniting to change practices behaviors, and beliefs that contribute to gender-based violence so that we can build healthy and safe families that thrive from generation to generation.

We have witnessed the harmful realities of abusive international marriages and domestic violence on Hmong families across the United States and internationally, and believe that together we can develop and implement cultural change strategies that will build the kinds of families that enable all of our people to thrive.

The stake is high for all of us if we don’t end abusive practices within families. So, we are drawing the line on hurtful and oppressive practices that tear families apart. We are redrawing our destiny as children, women, men, LGBTQI persons, elders, parents, and leaders to build a future where families are free from abuse. We believe that, “we are the change we’ve been waiting for.”

As I watched the video, it is quite disturbed how women in my community are being treated. As reflected on the video that the young Hmong women who was involved in international marriage are sexually, mentally and physically abuse by their older husband. “This act is an act of demotic Violence” as mentioned by Bao Thao-Urabe.

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Rejoice “Divorce”

Sometime we got so busy and tied with life that we negligence the important of each other. We forget how special our spouse, boyfriend or significant others are to us. We forget to be thankful of them for being in our life. We become unappreciated of them.

Reminisce the small details of your love for each other and live them daily without forgetting why you love and got married to the other person at the first place!

Beautiful video with a great message send out to it’s audience!

Love Is Not Only An Emotion

… love isn’t an emotion or even a noun. It’s a verb. Better defined as giving. As putting someone else’s needs above your own. – Popchassid

Source: I didn’t Love My Wife When We Got Married

I agreed with Popchassid on the above statement. I believed that love is not only an emotion but also served as giving. We must be willingly to give more with nothing or less expected in return. As I got older and my ages kept increasing, my mind change with time. I also feel the same way — when we really love someone, we should not be afraid to put their needs above our own. When we can really do this, it is love. We wants the best for the other person, we want them to get what they wants and dream off. We want to be able to be their back bone and walk next to them through the rough time; ensuring that everything will be okay at the end of the tunnel.

Popchassid has a great article regards to L O V E. And how he was able to understand what love is in his own thought and mind; what it takes to really love a person when we said the word “I Love You.” As he mentioned in his article that those three words has been taken for granted at time and sometime we said them so often that we really don’t know if we really love the other person sincerely enough to know what L O V E really is.

Click on the source link above to read more on Popchassid’s article.

Emotionally Hurt

Today, I am very hurt; emotionally hurt.

I’m all tears up inside, sad because of something which I have no control of. I never really knew or believed that a family’s perception of certain someone or something can be such a big impact on others until it hit me hard directly today.

I have known a guy for three years now. We kept in contact off and on for the past three years. Today, I finally have the courage to spill all my feeling out to him. It all started when he text and stated “I’m not good enuf. Don’t wanna marry me?” I reflected back to the first time when he called me and we talked; and those moments in between that lead us to where we are today. I pour my heart out, letting him know what feelings I always had for him. I have been waiting for the past three year for him to take initiative and it’s amazing how I still keep in touch with him to these days.

This guy is one of the best Hmong man I have ever encountered. From our communication, I would be happy to be married to him any day. When I first met him three years ago, I never knew I will develop such a strong feeling so deep for him. I didn’t know what I have got myself into. The very first time I find him to be worthy of getting to know was his charisma character and personality. That’s what draw me to him. The feeling has grown deeper as I get to know him more over time. He was once married before and that was the least of my concern. I really enjoy the moments I get to spend with him via text, phone and even when I met him in person. I have such a great emotion developing for this man after I have see him in person. I was longing for him but I have to pull myself back because it seem like he did not feel the same way towards me. The strong feeling I have for him actually scared me and didn’t want to lose myself to someone that don’t feel the same as I do nor lose myself to something that isn’t even there. I see myself as a woman with dignity and values myself. I was not gonna allow myself to make a fool out of me, be desperate for him. And if a man who do not reflect on what I have been trying to tell him or share with him which maybe he do not see or feel the same way towards me then it’s best for me to just let him go and cope with my emotion.

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