That Moment …

lessons-in-lifeThat moment when you look at old photos of you and your ex and … instead of you feeling hurts and lots of pain, it makes you smiles.

That moment when you realize that you no longer hurts by watever happen in the past.

That moment, you dwell in the past for the good of memories and just cherish it rather then let the pain come back and hurts you all over again.

That moment when you recently see him at the gym and you wish him well and that he is doing well.

That moment when you see him again and he is like a complete stranger all over again.

That moment when you wants nothing for him but the best only.

That moment when you are thankful for the experience you have with him and because of whatever happen, it taught you to know yourself better and become the person you are today.

That moment when you know that your heart and you have move on.


Mesmerize About The Past

2013 - lunchWe were told not to dwell in the past but sometime you cannot help yourself.

Lately I have been dwell in the past, my past. Since facebook has the feature of “Memories look back on today” from years ago. I was able to see what I did a few years ago.

“OH those happy moments!!!”

They seem so real but at the same time, just a memories. Where has it gone? And what happen?

Today about 2 yrs ago, as stated in my status post, “the handsome one and I went to lunch before we head out to wine tasting in Old Sugar Mill in Clarksburg.”

It is bittersweet memory that I will forever cherish. I don’t know how he and I came to be the way we are. It’s been 9 months since we went our own way. I believed he has move on himself as I am allowing myself to move on too. Like they said “TIME” will heal the wound and give time, someone will come along and put all the broken piece together.

I am thankful for the experiences; to love, the memories, the many places we had travel and visit, and the lessons we have share with one another. I think that without it, I will not become the person I am.

2013 - wineAs I mesmerize about my past, a part of me is sadden that two wonderful and amazing persons cannot work out their differences. And a part of me wish him well and that he will be love in the way that I was not able to do so to fulfil his happiness.

Like the saying goes… “If we are meant to be, faith will lead us back to be in each other’s arm again” in the future.

Figure Out If You’re the One

Catching up on some of the old recap “Ask Steve” show. His info seem helpful from one of the show that a lady ask about how to spot a cheater and the advise below is Steve’s response. Rather spotting a cheater, figure out if you’re the one because if you’re the one, he will not cheat.

Figure out if you’re the one:

You’re the jackpot in the relationship. Quit proving yourself to the man, let him prove himself to you.

  1. If he does not response to your needs, or concerns, you are not the one. A man who wants you, listen to you because he loves you.
  2. If the man hurts your feelings, repeatedly, and he offers no fix for that, then you’re not the one. What man wants to hurt somebody he love, repeatedly and intentionally same way over and over again?
  3. If he is not willing to make any changes, then you’re not the one.

“A woman changes a man into the man he suppose to be…. if you’re not the one, leave, before he cheat. You are the ticket. You’re the whole deal!” ~ Steve Harvey

Source: full recap video

Rejoice “Divorce”

Sometime we got so busy and tied with life that we negligence the important of each other. We forget how special our spouse, boyfriend or significant others are to us. We forget to be thankful of them for being in our life. We become unappreciated of them.

Reminisce the small details of your love for each other and live them daily without forgetting why you love and got married to the other person at the first place!

Beautiful video with a great message send out to it’s audience!

An Outsider

Mus ua Nyab or “the life of a daughter in law” is never easy in the Hmong culture; especially if you are married into a traditional family. There are high expectation from your in-law as well as relatives and the requirement that a woman needs to fulfill within the culture. Hmong along with other Asian race are very close net and family orientated.

This June during Father’s Day, I did not spend the weekend with my own family. I decided to spend the holiday with his family. This is the second time I have met and spend time with his family. (He and I broke up since October of last year. Since then we have reconnected off and on… and taking our time to work things out with one another. Everything between him and I seem like it’s been going well so I agreed to spend the weekend with his family.) I can said that being a outside person to a family is a challenge for me and I think that it always will. I do not know how other “Nyabs” or daughter-in-laws do it but I have awkward moments like: don’t know where to sit, how do I help them out with cooking, and every where I stand, I feel like I was getting in the way. Aside from my awkward thoughts, I did have a great time with his family. They were welcoming and kind. In addition, he was very attended to me; making sure I don’t feel alone or left out. It’s possible that since I have not spend much time with them, I still feel uncomfortable around his family.

While at their house, I send texts to my two married sisters (my older sister just got married this past May, 2014) and mentioned to them how they were able to be married and live with just that one man for the rest of their lives like this. Because I have awkward moments and I am struggling to get custom to the family. As sweet as they are, they text me back with advise. They said that you just get used to the bf/husband’s family and relatives once you start to mingle and see them often. I was still not convince by their words because seem like a strange world and I do not know anyone beside him. My replied to them was that I am not sure if I will want to take the marriage path because I don’t want to leave my family and be among others who I do not know at all. Also told them that I am willing to pay the “bride price” for the guy to be a “nyab” to me ( jokingly…lolz) and move away from his family. My two sister laugh and text back that it is impossible and not part of our Hmong custom. Hmong son will not leave their parents and roots to be a “nyab”.

It is sad but it’s true. Most sons in the Hmong culture will not do that; leave their family and relativse to lived with the girl’s family. This is because the family believe sons are the one who will carry the family name. This go back to the taboo that most Asian races/groups practice, wanting to birth sons only. However, will leave that to another blog topic discussion on it’s own.


How is it like for you during your first visit with your significant other’s family? Any awkwardness or uncomfortable moment? How do you overcome it? Any inputs definitely will allow some insight into the journey of a daughter-in-law.

Vim Muaj Koj

Wish you were here to share a part of my world with. You were the greatest. I miss those nights when I told you about my concerns, my problems and worries. You always know what to say to ease me. You always take your time with me, to guide me, and love me even when I give you such a difficult time. Your warm love, laughter and voice always light up the room and bring comfort to those who known you. Your compassion towards others was tender and kind. Regardless of what you been through, you always look at the positive of the situation and embrace it with love. Your wisdom influence me to understand and see life different and beyond my peers. Everything that you are, live through me! Wherever you are, I know you are my heart and soul; you are my breath, you are the skins on me, you are the laughter in me, you are the hair on my head, you are the words that I spoke, you are the kindness and love I embrace onto others, you are every little inches of me. Dreams are the closest I can get to you; see your smile, hear your voice, smell your sense, and hug you. No matter where I go or whom I will become, not a day you will be forgotten. I hope to be half as great of a person, a woman, a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother and a friend as you are. MOM, I love you!