That Moment …

lessons-in-lifeThat moment when you look at old photos of you and your ex and … instead of you feeling hurts and lots of pain, it makes you smiles.

That moment when you realize that you no longer hurts by watever happen in the past.

That moment, you dwell in the past for the good of memories and just cherish it rather then let the pain come back and hurts you all over again.

That moment when you recently see him at the gym and you wish him well and that he is doing well.

That moment when you see him again and he is like a complete stranger all over again.

That moment when you wants nothing for him but the best only.

That moment when you are thankful for the experience you have with him and because of whatever happen, it taught you to know yourself better and become the person you are today.

That moment when you know that your heart and you have move on.

Mesmerize About The Past

2013 - lunchWe were told not to dwell in the past but sometime you cannot help yourself.

Lately I have been dwell in the past, my past. Since facebook has the feature of “Memories look back on today” from years ago. I was able to see what I did a few years ago.

“OH those happy moments!!!”

They seem so real but at the same time, just a memories. Where has it gone? And what happen?

Today about 2 yrs ago, as stated in my status post, “the handsome one and I went to lunch before we head out to wine tasting in Old Sugar Mill in Clarksburg.”

It is bittersweet memory that I will forever cherish. I don’t know how he and I came to be the way we are. It’s been 9 months since we went our own way. I believed he has move on himself as I am allowing myself to move on too. Like they said “TIME” will heal the wound and give time, someone will come along and put all the broken piece together.

I am thankful for the experiences; to love, the memories, the many places we had travel and visit, and the lessons we have share with one another. I think that without it, I will not become the person I am.

2013 - wineAs I mesmerize about my past, a part of me is sadden that two wonderful and amazing persons cannot work out their differences. And a part of me wish him well and that he will be love in the way that I was not able to do so to fulfil his happiness.

Like the saying goes… “If we are meant to be, faith will lead us back to be in each other’s arm again” in the future.

Vim Muaj Koj

Wish you were here to share a part of my world with. You were the greatest. I miss those nights when I told you about my concerns, my problems and worries. You always know what to say to ease me. You always take your time with me, to guide me, and love me even when I give you such a difficult time. Your warm love, laughter and voice always light up the room and bring comfort to those who known you. Your compassion towards others was tender and kind. Regardless of what you been through, you always look at the positive of the situation and embrace it with love. Your wisdom influence me to understand and see life different and beyond my peers. Everything that you are, live through me! Wherever you are, I know you are my heart and soul; you are my breath, you are the skins on me, you are the laughter in me, you are the hair on my head, you are the words that I spoke, you are the kindness and love I embrace onto others, you are every little inches of me. Dreams are the closest I can get to you; see your smile, hear your voice, smell your sense, and hug you. No matter where I go or whom I will become, not a day you will be forgotten. I hope to be half as great of a person, a woman, a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother and a friend as you are. MOM, I love you!

Happy 2 Years Anniversary!

Happy Anniversary!

You registered on WordPress.com 2 years ago!

Thanks for flying with us. Keep up the good blogging!

As I came on to wordpress today to blog about something else and I saw a notification that it is my 2 years anniversary on wordpress. I remember that I start blogging back in 2012 around march but did not know the exact date.

It has been two long years for me and fill with quiet a few memorable blog posts that help me recall the last two years. I start out the blog on collecting piece of arts that will fit into what is called “hmong chic” style for my future wedding…. he he he. Then it turn into recapping little things I find on the internet that is interesting to me. I blog about my past love experience, the lies I been told to by men and the pain that come after. I talked about my thoughts and emotions and the growth that I develop over the years as well as the little life lesson that I learned. I have fallen in love and went  through a break up. I know how a broken heart felt like and how emotionally drained a break can take on a person. I went through a stage of wondering “what if…” this or that happen, will I be in a better place. I do a lots of reflecting back to my past for personal growth, to understand what I did wrong so I can improve myself and my mistakes.

Today, I came back on here because I wants to write a reflection piece of my past. I have came to accepted my wrong doing so I can move forward. So look forward to that one up head.

There have been so many thing come and go; things change and so do people. It’s been two amazing years to reflected on and remember by. Happy 2 years Anniversary Unforgettable Adventures and cheer to two and more incredible years to come!

Top 5 Regrets of the Dying

I saw this flowing around in facebook and I have read the article somewhere before. Now that it was shared back to me through a facebook friend, I thought what such a great article to doc down for a self-reminder — to live life every day without no regrets and plan to do what the heart has always wants to do without putting it off until later.

Enjoy the reading for your own personal growth and rediscover yourself!!!

A palliative nurse has recorded the top five regrets of the dying. Photograph: Montgomery Martin/Alamy

Top five regrets of the dying

A nurse has recorded the most common regrets of the dying, and among the top ones is ‘I wish I hadn’t worked so hard’. What would your biggest regret be if this was your last day of life?

There was no mention of more sex or bungee jumps. A palliative nurse who has counselled the dying in their last days has revealed the most common regrets we have at the end of our lives. And among the top, from men in particular, is ‘I wish I hadn’t worked so hard’.

Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She recorded their dying epiphanies in a blog called Inspiration and Chai, which gathered so much attention that she put her observations into a book calledThe Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

Ware writes of the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at the end of their lives, and how we might learn from their wisdom. “When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently,” she says, “common themes surfaced again and again.”

Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Ware:

Continue reading

Tu Siab Thiab Chim Siab

“Tu siab heev li os….tias lub ntiaj teb no tsis muaj txoj kev ncaj ncees. Cov neeg zoo thiab cov neeg yus hlub tshaj plaws li tseem ncaim ntawm yus lub xuj ntiag thiab lub neej txoj siab mus lawm tsis rov los. Ua cas es cov neeg zoo ho yog cov tsis muaj txoj hmoo zoo…ho cov neeg phem ho muaj txoj sia ntev? Tu siab thiab chim siab heev li os kuv na. Hais npaum li cas los tsis zoo kuv lub siab rau txoj kev no li. *Sniff sniff* …”

Today I was able to attend Mrs. Sophie Herr (Nam Dr. Benjamin Nyaaj Bee Herr) memorial services in Sacramento during the evening after a long and busy day at work. I was delivering some flowers and fruits (Fruits from Miss Asia Sacramento’s Director and MAS family) to her, her daughter and the Herr family to show some respect and support for the family.

I took one of the service program brochure home. In it, it has Mrs. Sophie Herr’s biography in there and I’m amazed at the wonderful work she has done and left her legacy on earth for others to cherish; especially those whom she has touch their hearts or has come encounter with her. She pass away due to Colon cancer in Feb. 2, 2013 when the cancer had gotten worse for her.

Continue reading

Emotionally Hurt

Today, I am very hurt; emotionally hurt.

I’m all tears up inside, sad because of something which I have no control of. I never really knew or believed that a family’s perception of certain someone or something can be such a big impact on others until it hit me hard directly today.

I have known a guy for three years now. We kept in contact off and on for the past three years. Today, I finally have the courage to spill all my feeling out to him. It all started when he text and stated “I’m not good enuf. Don’t wanna marry me?” I reflected back to the first time when he called me and we talked; and those moments in between that lead us to where we are today. I pour my heart out, letting him know what feelings I always had for him. I have been waiting for the past three year for him to take initiative and it’s amazing how I still keep in touch with him to these days.

This guy is one of the best Hmong man I have ever encountered. From our communication, I would be happy to be married to him any day. When I first met him three years ago, I never knew I will develop such a strong feeling so deep for him. I didn’t know what I have got myself into. The very first time I find him to be worthy of getting to know was his charisma character and personality. That’s what draw me to him. The feeling has grown deeper as I get to know him more over time. He was once married before and that was the least of my concern. I really enjoy the moments I get to spend with him via text, phone and even when I met him in person. I have such a great emotion developing for this man after I have see him in person. I was longing for him but I have to pull myself back because it seem like he did not feel the same way towards me. The strong feeling I have for him actually scared me and didn’t want to lose myself to someone that don’t feel the same as I do nor lose myself to something that isn’t even there. I see myself as a woman with dignity and values myself. I was not gonna allow myself to make a fool out of me, be desperate for him. And if a man who do not reflect on what I have been trying to tell him or share with him which maybe he do not see or feel the same way towards me then it’s best for me to just let him go and cope with my emotion.

Continue reading